Saving Qui-Gon Jinn
by Selene467
Summary: What if Obi-Wan had found a way -albeit risky- to save Qui-Gon? [First in Series, also on ao3]


No, no, no, no, no, nooooo!

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. Obi-Wan Kenobi sat on the hard floor of one of Naboo's generator rooms, cradling his master Qui-Gon Jinn. Only seconds ago he'd let out his last breath and Obi-Wan counted each heartbeat that followed and took longer to appear. Through their bond he called desperately for his master, but there was no answer. Only silence in his mind.

The pain was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He'd lost people before, had even betrayed Qui-Gon himself once and the pain he carried then for what he'd done was excruciating. But this, this didn't even come close. He couldn't even truly describe the pain. It was like every possible form of torture and more, combined into one. He couldn't even scream anymore. He just sat there rocking on the floor, grasping the limp body of the most important person in his life and mentally screaming and sobbing at the world, at the force, at anything and anyone.

The only thing left for me to teach him is how to let go.

Obi-Wan remembered hearing those words. Qui-Gon at the time hadn't known he was nearby. He'd been speaking to Master Windu in the room of a Thousand Fountains. They'd been discussing his progress as a padawan. Qui-Gon had confessed that there was little more he could teach him, except how to let go. At the time Obi-Wan had not understood the meaning behind those words. After all, he'd lost people before. People he cared about, people he'd felt responsible for. He knew how to let someone go, how to accept what was and move on. He had been wrong.

The one thing he had yet to learn was not how to let someone go. It was how to let Qui-Gon go. The one person in his life whom he could not imagine being without. As rocky as they had started off their partnership, they had quickly grown into a formidable duo. Even their master-padawan bond had been beyond the normal bounds. It wasn't unheard of for jedi to be able to speak through the bond, but it was certainly not common. Only those strong in the force with a good chemistry could pull it off and even then it was mostly one-worded or short messages. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were able to have complete conversations in their minds, something they often used to antagonise the council. Not intentionally of course. But it had become very useful when meetings with the council were strained or even boring or in complete disarray. More often than not Obi-Wan was calming Qui-Gon down.

A stuttering heartbeat had Obi-Wan snap back to attention, his own heart clenching painfully in response. Please don't go!

He didn't care that he hadn't learned everything yet. He didn't care if the council deemed him unfit to be a jedi. He didn't care about any of it, just as long as he didn't leave him. To sith with the jedi code! Attachments are forbidden, well too bad! Even without intending it, Obi-Wan had grown attached to his master and he knew Qui-Gon felt the same. They had grown from a master-padawan team to close partners and friends. Obi-Wan knew in his heart that had he grown up with a family, he'd have wished for a father like Qui-Gon.

No more heartbeat followed and the bond which had been eerily silent started to feel cold and distant. Despair drowned him as he pleaded with everything in his power. PLEASE DON'T GO! SOMEONE HELP ME!

* * *

Despite the heap of trouble Anakin would be in once Qui-Gon found out what he'd been up to, he couldn't resist a whoop of joy at the victory over the droid army. He'd managed to safely land his little starfighter and watched the still visible blow-up in space from the cockpit. R2-D2 kept reminding him that he was in big trouble, but Anakin suddenly had other things on his mind. Like a sudden wave of utter despair filling him up, causing him to tumble right out of the open cockpit. R2-D2 beeped worriedly but was still stuck in the starfighter and unable to assist.

Anakin didn't get up. He didn't feel like he could even if he'd wanted to and he didn't want to. Memories he'd rather not think about came to him; saying goodbye to his mother, being rejected by the Jedi. The wave of despair grew stronger but there was something else as well. A desperate need for something.

Anakin wished he could help whoever needed it, but his head felt like it would explode and his heart cried like he was losing his mother all over again. It was too much for him to handle. Strength was being drained from his body as he let darkness fall over him. There was no point in struggling.

I want to help.

* * *

Obi-Wan struggled to keep Qui-Gon in a healing trance. The idea had come to him right at the last second. But it was difficult enough to put someone into a healing trance, especially if said person was unconscious. But Qui-Gon wasn't just unconscious. Qui-Gon was dead.

NO!

He refused to acknowledge that. Qui-Gon was not dead and would not die! It took nearly all his strength to keep him in the healing trance and it was becoming increasingly harder with every passing second. Obi-Wan knew he would lose this battle unless he did something drastic. Something Qui-Gon would reprimand him for. Something Yoda might actually throw him out of the Temple for. But it was his only chance. Qui-Gon's life was fleeting at best at the moment and letting go was not an option!

Focussing inward, Obi-Wan reached for the force and let it flow deep within him. He felt his own energy, his own connection to life and without a second thought guided it through the bond he shared with his master. It eagerly sought out Qui-Gon's nearly diminished force signature and latched on gently. Instantly Obi-Wan felt an enormous drain on his energy reserve, nearly dropping unconscious right there. Qui-Gon was taking him down with him!

Obi-Wan didn't have the strength to keep them both alive. Rather than keeping Qui-Gon alive through his own life-force, his master was pulling him with along into death. No, he couldn't fail his master now, not a second time. Please no!

Then by some miracle, strength returned to him. Obi-Wan pulled away from the deepening darkness dragging the mental dead-weight of his master along. He didn't know how he found the strength, but somehow he'd managed to pull through. He was keeping them both alive. But for how long? Obi-Wan knew he could not sustain this indefinitely. He could only hope help would arrive in time. For now all he cared about was that tiny flicker of life that was his master. Barely holding on, but holding on nonetheless. Obi-Wan would not let him go, not even if that meant his own demise.

I'm not letting you go!

* * *

Master Healer Diaval Basant was not pleased as he checked his patient once more. Qui-Gon Jinn was a pain in the proverbial buttocks but this time he had outdone himself. Getting skewered in the gut by a lightsaber no less! And then having the nerve to try and die nearly dragging his padawan with him! It was an outrage!

"Master?" the timid voice drew his attention away from Jinn. His padawan ducked her head upon meeting his gaze alerting him to his still present scowl. As a Cathar, his facial expressions often came about a bit strong. "What is it, padawan?"

The young Twi'lek straightened herself at her title obviously taking pride in it. "Senior Padawan Kenobi is showing signs of waking, master. Should we alert Master Yoda?"

Obi-Wan Kenobi. The other half of the terrible Jedi duo. If he was annoyed, maybe even angry, with Qui-Gon, then that was nothing compared to how he felt about Obi-Wan. As if it wasn't bad enough that the boy ended up in his care nine out of ten mission, he had the nerve to risk his own life at the faintest possible chance of saving his already as-good-as-dead master. Who in their right mind would dare bind their life-force to someone who was as good as dead at the time?! It was beyond outrage!

"Ma– master?"

Master Basant quenched his growing anger before adressing his timid padawan. "Apologies my padawan. If you would be so kind as to contact Master Yoda. I'll check in on Kenobi."

Priya immediately dashed away, her stark-red skin a contrast to the lighter colors of the healer's wing. In an environment of mostly white and beige colouring, Priya was a delight to see in the healer's wing. She instantly brightened the place up.

Right. Lets see to my most frequent patient.

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this," Obi-Wan said after a moment's contemplation of the planet. Qui-Gon shook his head. "I don't sense anything."

Obi-Wan nodded. "It's not about here, Master. It's not about this mission. It's something... elswhere. Something elusive..."

The older Jedi put his hand on the other's shoulder. "Don't center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration on the here and now, where it belongs."

"Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future— "

"But not at the expanse of the present." As Obi-Wan thought about it, he noticed Qui-Gon watching him patiently. Resigned he nodded and accepted the truth. "Be mindful of the Living Force, my young Padawan."

To his credit, Obi-Wan managed a small smile. "Yes, Master."

Wait! This wasn't right. Hadn't this already happened? Obi-Wan turned to look at his master and jerked back startled. Qui-Gon was disappearing before his eyes, shimmering like a ghost, his body slowly losing its form.

"Master!"

Obi-Wan reached for his master, but to his horror his hand went right through him. Pulling back he watched his master's face – impassive, like nothing was happening to cause any concern. "Master?" Confused and admittedly, scared, Obi-Wan watched as his master completely disappeared leaving him alone in the quiet conference room.

No! This couldn't be happening. What was going on? Master, where are you? There came no response only further increasing the padawan's anxiety. Gas suddenly filled the room rapidly, the Force having offered no warning. In mere seconds Obi-Wan – having been unable to respond properly to the sudden danger– started coughing dangerously as the lethal gas assaulted his lungs.

His body grew incredibly heavy in no time at all, causing him to drop to the floor in an ungraceful heap. Weariness threatened to drag him down into the dark abyss of unconsciousness. Obi-Wan knew he would not wake up if he let that happen, yet there was little resistance possible. The gas was already inside him. /Master!/

Silence permeated the once bright bond he shared with his master, now merely a cold, distant echo in his mind. Where are you? Why is this happening?

The Force was comfort as it swirled around him just out of reach, as if it were teasing his inability to reach it.

"Promise me, Obi-Wan"

Promise what? /Master!/

"Wan...Obi-Wan!" The voice was so sudden to his ears that Obi-Wan felt his entire body jerk in an upright position, or at least attempt to. There was un unusual resistance he could not quite get past. At the same time Obi-Wan registered the impossibility of his movement. Wasn't he already standing? How could he possibly move upright if he already was standing up?

"Obi-Wan, can you hear me?" Yes, he tried to answer, but no words came out no matter how hard he tried. His body would no cooperate, especially now that it seemd he had two bodies both doing something different.

He could feel himself standing, but wait– , that wasn't true either. Had he not fallen down just now, choking on a lethal poisonous gas?

Looking around his surroundings Obi-Wan gasped in surprise. The room had split into three different environments. On one side he saw the gas-filled noxious room, on the other there was no trace of the gas. And in the middle there was a blinding white that forced his eyes to shut. Even stranger was the affect the different rooms had on him.

Upon looking at the room filled with gas, Obi-Wan felt himself crumbled on the ground choking for air, lungs burning. Looking to the empty conference room, his body suddenly appeared in a standing position, clean air entering his lungs with each breath he took. And the third room, the blinding white had him horizontal trying to move into a sitting position but with an heavy resistance pushing back at him.

No more! Please no more! /Master!/

* * *

Healer Basant had barely entered Kenobi's room when the monitors suddenly erupted in shrill alarms. Basant hurried to his patient's bedside using a Force Sweep to find out what ailed the young man. "No, this cannot be."

He hurried across the room to the commlink on the wall. "Priya! Get back here! It's an emergency!"

Priya jerked to a stop in the long hallway, momentarily confused to hear her master's shout. their bond had never allowed such clear thought. It took her a few seconds to remember the comm link she had with her. "Master?!"

"I have no time to explain, Padawan. You must return immediately." Despite understanding the urgency in his voice, Priya could not shake the confusion in her mind. "But I haven't reached Master Yoda yet."

"NOW, Priya!" Startled by the harsh shout, Priya turned on her heel and raced back to the Healer's wing.

Shutting off the commlink, Basant quickly made his way back over to his patient. He would apologise for his harsh tone to his Padawan later, when there wasn't a crisis on hand. She was a capable healer but her timidness and hesitation were something to work on. She lacked confidence in herself and often reacted rather than responded to a situation.

"Obi-Wan! Can you hear me?" There was no sign the senior Padawan had heard him. His body lay eerily still, his breathing steady but slow. Then again, it wasn't his body the Master Healer was worried about. It was the mind.

While securing the distraction alarms and preparing his patient for what he was about to do, Priya came rushing into the room. "Master!" Still catching her breath, she hurried to Kenobi's other side, making eye contact with her master clearly asking him what was happening.

"His mind is going into shock! We have little time, Padawan!"

Priya nodded in understanding. "What should we do, Master? How can we help him? " She had never witnessed a mind going into shock before. It was uncharted territory for the young Padawan.

"Before we can do anything, we need to determine the sort of shock he is going through. If we act with the wrong one in mind, we could make matters even worse." Basant placed one hand on Kenobi's forehead and closed his eyes. Priya noticed the signs of a mind probe immediately. It was something not often done as it was invasive and often painful if the subject was unwilling or unconscious. Unfortunately it was the fastest way for Healers to determine an ailment.

A deep stillness washed over the young Padawan as she felt her Master center on his patients' mind. The bond she shared with him allowed her to sense a little of what her Master was doing, giving her a bit of inside into the workings of a mind probe.

Unfortunately she could not sense much as most of the probe was happening in Kenobi's mind and she could not follow her Master across the bond into another's mind. All she could do now was wait and watch.

* * *

Anakin had done this before but standing before all these Jedi Masters all alone did not feel any better than the first time he went through it. Their penetrating stares were bad enough, but now that he was a little bit more aware of this mysterious Force, he could feel a deep pressure around him which was coming close to making him dizzy.

"What happened after you landed?" The voice of the tall dark Jedi -Windu, was it?- pulled Anakin from his thoughts.

Anakin thought back, remembering vaguely feeling something he could not explain. He knew he'd passed out from something, perhaps exhaustion? It was difficult to remember, so he decided to answer as honest as possible.

"I remember little, Master Jedi. I...think I felt something but I can't remember what. I do know I passed out and then I woke up in that medical place on Naboo." And Qui-gon and Obi-Wan were there too, unconcious and not looking too good. Without an explanation all three of them had been brought back to the Jedi Temple. Anakin hadn't seen either of them since.

Vaguely Anakin noted the masters were speaking to him again, but he could not understand them. He couldn't even hear them. It was like someone had turned on mute in his ears. He shook his head to try and clear the fog, but that resulted in a severe dizzy spell. Confusion, fear, pain flooded his mind and then everything went black again.

* * *

"His mind is fragmenting."

Priya nearly jumped out of her skin. She had been arranging all sorts of healing equipement in case her Master was going to need any of it. She had not felt the bond between them warm up and spring to life again as her Master pulled away from Kenobi's mind.

"Fragmenting? I don't understand, Master."

"His mind is making up different realities and he can no longer determine which is the real one. The moment he started waking up his mind shattered into different realities, using the actual reality we are in now and using other realities from his memory."

Basant grabbed a muscle sedative without needing to look, his focus never leaving his patient. "He cannot determine which is the real one and his mind cannot handle the pressure for much longer."

"What do we do? How long does he have?"

"Not long. It's not so much the holding out part that worries me. I'm more concerned that his mind will fragment even more. From what I can determine he's fragmented into three realities. If he creates anymore, if his mind shatteres beyond that... with every new reality his mind gets damaged further and the shock increases to twice the amount of stress on his mind which in turn results into further fragmenting and it becomes a terrible spiral until he ends up brain-dead."

Brain-dead? Priya thought, dread making itself known. She did her best to release it and her other tense emotions to the Force. She succeeded partially. At least it was something.

"We must hurry, Padawan. I must pull him back towards the true reality in his mind, but I'll need you to be my anchor to reality, Priya. " Her Master's strong gaze fell on her and the pressure of the task before her became suddenly very real. "I know you can do this Padawan. I believe in you. Now you must believe in yourself." Master Basant looked at her with confidence -confidence in her- and it filled her with a striking determination. Seeing the look on her face, Healer Basant explained her role.

"If Obi-Wan's mind drags me along, I need you to pull me back. Use our bond, project reality across it, project the medical wing as you see it right in front of you. Not out of memory and not anything else. Not the temple, not your friends, not this planet. Only what you are seeing right now. Channel reality, do not create another one."

Priya nodded as she mentally grabbed hold of the bond she shared with her master. She would guide him back, she would not fail him. There is not try. Do or do not.

"Y-yes Master. I will do this."

Master Healer Basant allowed a moment to bask in his pride for his Padawan before releasing it all to the Force and reaching out to Obi-Wan Kenobi's mind.

* * *

After the tumultuous arrival of the two critical patients, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Senior Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi nearly two days ago, the remaining healers on duty were not expecting to see a member of the Jedi Council hurry through the doors of the Healer's wing carrying a young boy. Quickly the female human Healer got up from her seat and approached the imposing Master. "Master Windu. What is the urgency?"

Mace wasted no time in ill chitchat, something the Healer before him seemed to agree in as she quickly lead him to a vacant room before he'd even explained the situation. Clearly she understood immediately that it involved the young child in his arms. "This is Anakin Skywalker. He lost consciousness in the middle of his report to the council for reasons we cannot determine." Mace spoke swift and clearly as he carefully placed the young child on the bio-bed. The healer before him nodded in understanding and immediately got to work.

She closed her eyes in concentration as she tried to detect with her especially intuned to the Healing Force senses, what ailed the young boy.

"There appears to have been a lot of activity of the mind. Though exhaustion both mental and physical certainly seems to play a part, I'm more concerned with the unusual pressure his mind has been under. What do you know of his recent activities, Master Windu?"

"He was among the fighting on Naboo. It is not surprising to find him under stress." Mace answered the healer. She nodded again, having enough information for now.

"Even though it's been almost two days since the Naboo incident, there is quite a bit of recent pressure on his mind. However he is young and a lot has happened on Naboo to overwhelm any mind. I'll keep him here for observation overnight and I'll make my report to the Chief Healer once he is able, for a second opinion. Who is the boy's Master?" The young Healer looked up at the silent Master, confused about his hesitation.

"Well, he doesn't have a Master. It was decided he would not be trained." At the Healer's confused expression, Mace explained further. "He was found by Master Qui-Gon Jinn and brought along for testing. A lot happened and the boy got dragged along in a way. For now he is to remain here at the Temple."

Mace was just about to leave –there was little more he could do for the child- when a flurry of healers rushed past the room. He peered out the window to see what had them in such a hurry, but they had already disappeared into a nearby room. Mace turned around to the healer to excuse himself, only to find her looking concerned at the door leading to the adjacent patient-room. "Is everything- "?

An interruption occurred in the form of Anakin Skywalker bolting into an upright position. A silent scream or gasp seemed stuck in his throat and he was breathing heavily. Anakin's healer rushed to his side immediately. "Calm down, young one! Breath!"

Her attempts at soothing him fell on deaf's ears. Anakin did not slow his breathing, he did not even seem aware of the healers' presence.

"Master Windu, please bring me that tray over there." Mace nodded at the healer as he turned to grab the tray. Suddenly the door leading to the adjourning room flew open and another healer came rushing into the room. He barely stopped in time to prevent from crashing into Mace, shouting a hurried "Sorry Master Jedi!", before skidding towards the medicine cabinet in the corner of the room.

As he rummaged through it, the female healer still stood by Anakin's side rubbing soothing circles on his back, questioned him. "What's going on? What do you need?" she spoke calm yet urgent, clearly aware that whatever was transpiring was not to be taken lightly, but as a professional healer she also knew to keep her calm, especially as a Jedi.

"I need a strong sedative for Kenobi!" Cam the hurried response without looking back, eyes focused on what he needed to find.

"Kenobi?" Her confusion was nothing on Mace's confusion. Last he knew Obi-Wan was unconscious and resting, much like his master. Why would he need a sedative?

"Yes, he just woke up. Basant fixed his mind and he woke up in quite the distress. Any attempts at calming him are ineffective. He's not even responding to Master Yoda." Yoda is in there? Mace belatedly remembered he left Yoda in the hallway. The old master must have sensed something happening and went to see.

A triumphant "aha" snapped Mace's attention back to the male healer rummaging through the medicines. "I got it!" And as abruptly as he had appeared, he was gone again.

"Master Windu?" the soft female voice drew his attention next. "I still need that tray."

Mace groaned inwardly at the hectic energy still surrounding him. Healers, there just was no keeping up with them.

* * *

Qui-Gon awoke to what appeared total darkness, but as he blinked a few times the darkness around him became lighter. Grey and red started to swarm into sight but all of it was blended together and made no sense. He heard footsteps nearby and instead focussed on those. At least his hearing seemed unaffected by whatever ailed him. While listening to the soft yet firm footfalls nearby, he noted that his entire body felt numb and a chill had settled throughout him. He felt vulnerable and that alarmed him. not only could he not defend himself but neither could he defend his padawan! Obi-Wan! Where was Obi-Wan!?

The Master calmed his nerves as best he could and focussed inward, stretching his senses through the Force, searhcing for his Padawan through their connection. Their master-padawan bond which was always present, always a comfort whenever they were physically separated. On more than one occassion Qui-Gon had required the bond to assure himself of his Padawan's existence. Throughout the years they spent together, Obi-Wan had a habit of atracting dangerous situations. How often he had worried himself sick over the young one. And now he worried again.

Their bond, their precious bond was barely noticeable in his mind. It was still there, clearly, but weakened somehow. Where before he could easily connect to Obi-Wan's bright mind, he now found a mere fleeting connection. They were still bonded but it was like someone had muted their connection. No matter how seasoned a master he was, Qui-Gon could not stop the torrent of fear from washing over him. For a master-padawan bond to weaken so could only mean one thing; Obi-Wan was hurt or worse, dying!? Qui-Gon cursed himself for whatever had gone wrong for him to lose track of everything. Here he was having apparently blacked out for some reason while his Padawan was in grave danger. Yet something nibbled at the back of his mind, something he couldn't shrug off. Why had he blacked out?

Qui-Gon wracked his brain trying to remember but to no avail. The only clue he had were the footfalls nearby and his fleeting connection to his Padawan. He pushed with all his might into the bond, demanding to sense his Padawan's mind, something he normally would never consider doing. It was a breach of privacy and a violation not lightly done. He only ever did so in very few cases, when the situation was dire enough or when his Padawan was on the verge of death, which thankfully didn't happen too often, but still too much for his peace of mind. Silently begging Obi-Wan for forgiveness and understanding, Qui-Gon forced his presence into the bond, felt the connection burst alive momentarily before an overwhelming surge of emotion slammed into him, nearly making him black out again. Focussing on the Force, upon which he begrudgingly noticed he also lacked control over for some reason, he steadied himself against the unslaught. More steady now, he could finally, calmly assess what he was sensing and it made his stomach surge unpleasantly.

There was anger, a lot of it. Enough to make someone sick with it. Overwhelming, intoxicating and extremely powerful. And it was coming from his Padawan.

Not again!

He could not stop the thought from forming. Many years had it been and many more to truly overcome his own guilt and fear and shame. Had it not been for Obi-Wan, he would not be the Jedi he was today. And yet, despite his unwavering trust and faith in Obi-Wan, he could no quell the thought nor the swirl of fear deep down. Such anger as his was sensing from Obi-Wan now was way beyond normal standards. Obi-Wan was standing on a precipice and Qui-Gon did not know how to reach him. In fact he didn't even know what had caused it. Digging deeper into the swirling emotion, he could tell it was not directed at him, but it was still discerning to sense such strong negative emotion in Obi-Wan's mind. Though he'd had some problems with his temper as a child, there was not a shred of evil in Obi-Wan. One of their first missions, it was Obi-Wan's determination and trust in the Force that gave Qui-Gon the strength to face his former student.

What happened to you, my Padawan? What could cause you such unbalance?

If only he could REMEMBER!

It was like lightning struck his mind as images and sounds and feelings bombarded him before abruptly disappearing as if sucked out in a vacuum. The sudden dead silence and emptiness in his mind was more unnerving than anything else. There in the dark and the silence, he felt and heard someone approaching him. Pain assaulted his senses and then vision and sound slammed back into his mind and he remembered! The sith! The sith had stabbed him. It wasn't Obi-Wan who was hurt, it was him. He'd made a mistake and it not only cost him his life, but might very well cost him his Padawan's soul. If there was one thing that could unhinge Obi-Wan, it would be to lose his Master. Something Qui-gon had picked up on a while back, something he'd been trying to teach his Padawan to overcome. How to let someone you care for go, because in the end everyone will.

It seemed Obi-Wan had not yet learned this lesson. Staring up at the ceiling of the generator room on Naboo, Qui-Gon could only listen as the force field lowered and his Padawan charged towards the enemy, harnessing his anger rather then releasing it. Qui-Gon didn't need to see the fight to know what was happening. He could imagine the angry, reckless strikes his Padawan would make. The openings and faults, the reckless abandon for his own safety, the need and desire to avenge. He'd felt it himself before, a long time ago, and then too it had been Obi-Wan who brought him back, who saved him. Obi-Wan was always saving him. And now that Obi-Wan needed saving, Qui-Gon was powerless to do anything but listen and pray.

Please, Obi-Wan please. Stop this. Don't go there, my padawan. Please hear me. Don't let this destroy you. Please, my Obi-Wan.

His strength was failing him once more and Qui-Gon struggled against the black encrouching upon his vision once more. He had to hold on, for Obi-Wan. He had to, he couldn't leave him now. But his body was beyond exhaustion and he could not stop himself from falling into the darkness. The last thing he heard the clashing of lightsabers and the last thing he sensed from Obi-Wan a deep anger threatening to consume him.

* * *

Anakin awoke slowly, vague sounds drumming in his ears. Despite wanting to sleep longer, he pushed himself towards full consciousness knowing Watto didn't like it if he were late. Sluggishly he opened his eyes and found a white ceiling, very different from his own home. Confused he tried to sit up, quelling the rising panic in his gut at not knowing what had happened to him or where he was. Sound of people running reached his ears and as he turned his head, he saw a flurry of shadows passing by his room. Vaguely he could hear voices as they passed. From the sound of it someone else was nearby and had woken up.

Before Anakin could decide upon what to do next, he felt a strange tugging sensation inside. A strange feeling urging him on somewhere. Despite his reluctance to move and unease from not knowing what was going on, he found himself sliding off the bed and moving towards a door ahead. Somehow he just knew there was something important here or someone important who could at least give him some answers. He knew he should be scared, hesitant, but he felt only strangely compelled do move forward.

Upon opening the door he found himself in another room, quite similar to the previous one he woke up in, except there were other people in this one. Two to be exact. One was lying down upon a bed, asleep. The other sat beside him on a high stool. He looked strange, small, green and pointy ears. Anakin froze when it turned its eyes upon him but upon seeing its eyes, he suddenly remembered.

The Jedi Council. Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan. Naboo. Padme. The space battle. It all came rushing back and Anakin remembered where he was and why. The Jedi Healer's Wing. He had fainted while talking to the Jedi about Naboo, though he could not recall why.

"Rest you should, young Skywalker."

Anakin started as Master Yoda spoke. He briefly looked at the Jedi before averting his gaze feeling uneasy. Instead he looked at Obi-Wan, sound asleep in the bed. Was the Master watching over him?

"If not sleep, then sit you should. Before fall over, you do." Again that intense stare was thrown his way and Anakin moved to do as he said, not feeling up to answering or turning down the offer. So he sat down on the other side of Obi-Wan. Looking down upon him, he suddenly felt worried and curious. The last he had seen of him and Qui-Gon, they had both been unconscious and everyone was panicking about them. Whatever had been wrong with them had been really bad, but only Qui-Gon had an injury. There was no wound on Obi-Wan yet he was fretted about even worse than Qui-Gon.

"Recover they both will."

"Are you sure?" Anakin couldn't help asking. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He didn't want to be left alone. They were his friends and he didn't want to see them hurt anymore.

"Worry you should not. The future, uncertain it is. Concentrate you must, on the present." Before Anakin could respond, someone entered the room. A Cathar by the looks of it. He'd seen a few of them around on Tattooine.

"Master Yoda, you asked to be informed when Master Jinn awoke. Master Windu is with him currently. If you'd follow me." As he turned to leave, his eyes fell upon Anakin and widened in surprise. Anakin tried to make himself smaller on instinct. Was he not supposed to leave his room? "Skywalker? I didn't know you'd woken up. How do you feel, young one?" The Cathar strode over and put a hand on Anakin's head, before staring intently into his eyes as if seeing something there.

"Uhm, I'm alright. A bit tired, though."

The Healer, or so Anakin guessed him to be, made a hmm sound before straightening up. "Very well. You're not dismissed yet but if you want you can stay in here. I'm sure Obi-Wan would welcome the company when he awakens. Just don't move about too much and if you feel faint, call a healer."

With a final check, the Cathar Healer turned to leave with Master Yoda following after him.

* * *

The room felt suddenly very empty, save for Anakin himself and a sleeping Obi-Wan. No longer overcome with the worry about his _companions,_ Anakin felt awkward and exposed sitting here so diligently beside Obi-Wan's bed. Although they'd fought the same battles, Obi-Wan was still mostly a stranger to him, a _familiar_ stranger but a strange nonetheless. They'd rarely spoken on the entire journey they'd been, but Anakin had _observed_ the young Jedi and he had come to conclusion that Obi-Wan was a kind person, a strong Jedi and he had found himself grin more than once at his sarcastic quips and often ill-timed jokes. He was comfortable around the crew of the queen's ship, he even helped out the engineers, and he was never awkward or nervous around the queen and her hand-maidens.

The only one he seemed to avoid without making it look like he was, had been Anakin. Ani was sure it wasn't done on purpose as Obi-Wan didn't seem like the kind of person to do such a thing, on purpose at least or with intent to hurt. Anakin had enough experience with people purposely avoiding or downright ignoring him to notice the difference. Obi-Wan didn't seem to be consciously aware of avoiding him. He kept busy often in places where Anakin wasn't allowed to go and seemed to always find a way to prevent himself from bumping into Anakin anywhere.

Anakin held his hea din his hand as exhaustion pulled at his entire body while his head throbbed. He'd been getting these strange insights more often lately and he didn't understand where hsi mind managed to come up with them. He never thought so deeply before. He vaguely wondered if it could be beause of this Force that wizard spoke of.

"Anakin?"

Startled, Anakin jumped from his seat and promptly tripped over his foot which he'd got stuck behind one of the legs of his chair. He heard the rustle of sheets and the soft slap of bare feet on the floor before a comforting hand touched his shoulder.

"Are you hurt?"

Anakin looked up into stormy grey eyes yet he felt absolutely calm and safe, all the nervous tension from earlier evaporating in the presence of this familiar stranger that seemed less a stranger as the seconds ticked by. Why did he feel so safe near Obi-Wan?

"Anakin?" Concern laced Obi-Wan's voice as Anakin took too long to answer him. Had the boy not heard him? Was he more injured than he appeared? Obi-Wan hadn't failed to notice the patient garb the boy was wearing, but remembering everything that had happened it wasn't too far fetched that Anakin had been in need of some healing.

He squeezed Anakin's shoulder gently never looking away from the confused gaze upon him. It seemed to work as his eyes cleared and the boy shook his head as if to dislodge his thoughts. "Huh, uhm, I, sorry...?"

Obi-Wan smiled softly unable to prevent it. "I asked if you were hurt, perhaps from mroe than your little stumble just now?" He trailed of into a hesistant question, his other hand gesturing to Anakin's outfit. Anakin followed his gesture and looked down at his own wardrobe confused momentarily until he realised what Obi-Wan meant.

"Oh, oh no... I just collapsed is all." At Obi-Wan's wide eyes Anakin rushed to explain. "I, it wasn't something dangerous, I think. They were questioning me and I sort of blacked out, passed out? I don't remember much of it." He looked back at Obi-Wan who no longer looked shocked but his eyes still shone with something he'd only ever seen from his mother. Concern?

Obi-Wan straightened up when his muscles made themselves known, gently pulling Anakin up with him. Without speaking he gently guided Anakin back into the chair but before the boy has so much as touched the seat he'd bolted upright once more and looked positively alarmed. "What are you doing?!" Small hands pushed at Obi-Wan but even if Anakin hadn't been exhausted he would not have been able to move Obi-Wan by force.

"Anakin calm down. What's the matter?" Obi-Wan's hands reached for Anakin's shoulders trying to calm him by touch, but Anakin just shook his head, worry lingering around his form almost palpable in the air and the Force. "No you're not supposed to be out of bed. They said you need your rest. They said so!"

"Who said so?"

"The scary healer and Master Yoda."

"Yoda was here?" Obi-Wan sagged at the revelation allowing Anakin to push him back towards the bed but he only sat down on the edge. Yoda had been to visit him? Why? Had something happened? He always had a close bond with Yoda ever since he was a youngling, the grand master understanding him and his connection to the Force like no one else did, but Yoda rarely came to visit him at the Healers' unless he'd been in danger of dying. After all, unless it was life threatening Obi-Wan would be before the council reporting on the mission as soon as he was able.

"Are you alright?"

"Why-" Obi-Wan hesitated not knowing why he suddenly felt so off balance. Something about Master Yoda visiting him here felt wrong, something was nagging at his mind, urging him to remember. "Why what?" Obi-Wan started, having almost forgotten Anakin was there. He felt Anakin's distress growing at his silence and a sudden urge to reassure the boy standing before him overcame him, yet his body and mind felt numb, paralysed as he pulled at his memories.

"Obi-Wan? Do I need to get someone? Yoda? Do you need to see him? I'm sure I can find him, he was only going to see wizard...I think I heard them say it was just down the hall."

Anakin was not prepared for Obi-Wan's almost bruising grip on his arms, panic clear in his grey eyes. "Qui-Gon?! He's _alive_?!" Anakin didn't get a chance to answer him as Obi-Wan rose and swept passed him out of the room.

Anakin blinked, momentarily stunned, before he did the onylt hing he could think to do.

He followed after him.

* * *

The Living Force was a much needed comfort to Qui-Gon, swirling gently around him, soothing his frustration and growing unease as answers to his burning questions refused to come forth. Mace, his so called friend, refused to tell him anything, opting to wait for Yoda and Basant. Qui-Gon closed his eyes focussing on the Force, trying to release his emotions, though not having much luck.

His body positively ached all over and his thoughts came slowly, as if dragging them through thick muck. "Mace," he was practically begging now, the need to know at least _this much_. "Where's Obi-Wan? Please, at least tell me this much." _Please, because I cannot feel him for myself,_ Qui-Gon silently added. The bond they shared -the bond that kept them connected across vast distances and that they used to hold complete conversations before- was now barely there, silent and cold and numb.

Mace sighed heavily before looking at Qui-Gon and seeing the despair in his eyes. "All I can tell you my friend is that he's alive and resting. He will be alright." _But what of our bond? What_ happened _to them?_ Qui-Gon silently screamed knowing he wouldn't get his answers.

The door opening drew both of their attention and for a moment Qui-Gon hoped, hoped with all his heart it would be his padawan walking into the room. It was not though, but rather Master Yoda and Healer Basant. Qui-Gon sat a little straighter despite his aching body resisting.

"How is Obi-Wan? Where is he?" The question was out his mouth before both Jedi have even fully entered the room. With a frustrated sigh -Qui-Gon should know as he'd heard that particular sigh many times before although mostly in regards to his padawan- Diaval Basant closed the door before turning around to face him.

"Your wayward padawan is going to be alright and is currently resting. _You_ should be worried about yourself." Qui-Gon opened his mouth to insist on more information again when he's interrupted by Yoda.

"Quiet you now must be. Listen and get your answers you will." Qui-Gon could tell from looking at Yoda that the wise master easily read his distress despite being told Obi-Wan was alright. Did Yoda know about the weakness of their bond? "Seen Obi-Wan myself, I have. Resting he his, healthy he is." Yoda stared at him, watching the fight drain out of him before he revealed one more thing that both comforted and uneased Qui-Gon, like there was something more to it. "Alone, he is not."

Qui-Gon wondered why Yoda would mention this as it wasn't working in keeping him quiet, only making him want to ask more questions, but Basant coughed to get his attention and barreled on before Qui-Gon could try and dare to ask more. "Alright then. _You,_ my friend have been in quite a few scrapes over the years and I was hoping not to see you here for a long while. Sadly you decided not to heed my warning last time you were in here." Basant gives him a stern look despite knowing it wouldn't have any affect. Neither Qui-Gon nor his padawan managed to heed his warnings, always getting hurt one way or another.

"You've really outdone yourself this time, though." His tone of voice garnered Qui-Gon's attention. He'd seen the old Healer in almost every possible mood, especially when dealing with his accident-prone padawan, but the gravity by which he spoke _now,_ worries him. "You should be dead, Qui-Gon." It's stated matter of factly. No doubt about it, you should be dead. Just like that.

Basant breathed deeply before continuing. "You were stabbed in the gut by a lightsaber, due to the weapon you did not bleed out of course, but it damaged your organs. Such an injury is fatal if not treated immediately, preferably in a bacta tank. No field-medication could have fixed that. So as I said before, you should be dead."

"So why am I alive then?"

Mace answered him as Basant seemed to collect himself silently. "Obi-Wan saved you. You're one lucky Jedi."

"Luck had nothing to do with it." The response was quick and harsh and Basant's cathar eyes seemed to almost glow in their fierceness as he stared at the three masters before him. "I apologise for not telling you everything, masters. I needed to asses the damage first and the truth of what I suspected, before bringing it to your attention." Apologizing eyes turned to Master Yoda who merely nodded for him to continue. Qui-Gon held his breath as he waited for whatever bomb his friend was about to drop on them.

"I told you Obi-Wan had somehow healed Qui-Gon, enough to survive, but we all know that Obi-Wan struggles with healing trances still, due to his superior connection to the Unifying Force. The here and now is more difficult for him to grasp. You believed it a miracle or a sign of the Force. I let you believe this until I knew more."

"What did he do?" All eyes turned to Qui-Gon at the barely whispered question. Dread had settled in his gut as he waited to hear what reckless move his padawan had done, for him.

"Something forbidden." Basant was not normally so hesitant about speaking, to see the Cathar so unsettled was unnerving.

The door to his room suddenly burst open and his heart jumped when he saw who it was. Hanging onto the handle with a deathgrip and breathing heavily from obviously having run all the way here, was Obi-Wan. Eyes wide and searching frantically until they froze on Qui-Gons'. Relief visibly rushed through Obi-Wan before he abruptly collapsed on his hands and knees.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon lurged forwards fully intending to jump to his padawan's aid, but Mace put a restraining hand on his chest while Basant and Yoda reached for his padawan. Basant lifted him onto a chair while Yoda used to force to breath some strength back into Obi-Wan who, now that Qui focussed more closely, looked _beyond_ exhausted. A thin sheen of sweat on his greyish skin and his eyes though squeezed shut for the moment had been a stormy grey, a clear sign of trouble or feeling unwell.

"For Force's sake, Kenobi!" Basant scolded as he crouched before said padawan, checking him over. If Basant used their last name then he was serious. "Open your eyes, let me see." Obi-Wan complied and Qui-Gon could feel the Force probe gently around Obi-Wan as Basant tried to get a sense of harm. A sigh of relief had everyone calming down. "No lasting damage. What were you thinking leaving your bed?! You almost _died_ , Obi-Wan!"

"What?!"

Unexpectedly, the shout had not come from Qui-Gon although it was ready in his throat. Someone else had beat him to it. All eyes swerved to the open door where one Anakin Skywalker was standing, mouth agape and eyes wide in shock.

"Anakin-" Obi-Wan's voice was quiet, tired sounding but Anakin cut him off before he could catch his breath to continue.

"You didn't seem hurt, just tired. They said you were just tired, ju..just like me. You...you-" Basant ever so vigilant caught Anakin as he slumped where he stood. "Easy, little one."

Qui-Gon was more surprised at the attempted forward-lurge Obi-Wan made as if to rush for the boy. From what he remembered Obi-Wan had not been close to the boy, polite yes but not concerned. Not that Obi-Wan was never concerned for strangers, he was deeply emphatic and kind, but the concern in his eyes and drifting gently around him in the Force spoke of a much closer concern than for a mere stranger. Yoda's hand on his arm kept him from rising out of the chair though.

"He's alright, just exhausted. I believe this new information was the last drop for him. I'll return once I've settled him." Basant straightened out of his crouch and carried Anakin out of the room.

"Leave we also will." Yoda spoke up sharing a look with Mace. "Later, hear more we will. Rest you both must."

The door gently closed behind both masters, leaving Qui-Gon alone, finally, with his padawan. For a moment Obi-Wan didn't move as if frozen but then his shoulders sagged as he released a heavy and exhausted sigh, his eyes closing as he tried to gather what was left of himself. Qui-Gon ached to help his padawan, but he could barely move himself and Obi-Wan was seated too far from him.

"What did you do, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon didn't mean to say his question out loudm hence it came out as a tired whisper. Obi-Wan looked at him for a split second before abruptly looking down, like a man guilty of a terrible crime.

"Basant mentioned something forbidden. I know I never taught you anything like that so I'm left to wonder just what it was you did for me. And why?"

" Why?!" Obi-Wan's stormy grey eyes caught his gaze, a fire growing within his padawan at the mere question. " You ask why?! Why did you think?! You were _dying_ , master. I had to save."

"You didn't _have_ to, padawan. Don't think I am not grateful to be alive for I am, but not at the risk of your own life. You are far too important."

"So are you. We are both Jedi, both needed."

"Not what I meant padawan. Yes you are important to the Order, but that's not what I was going for." At Obi-Wan's confused expression, Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile. " I meant you are important to _me_ , specifically. Not only are you my responsibility, but I've grown quite fond of you over the years." Obi-Wan smiled at his jest, both of them knowing fond was a serious understatement. They were practically family after all these years of working together, learning together.

"That's why I did what I did. You are important to me too."

Qui-Gon leaned forward to really look his padawan in the eyes. "I know, but there comes a time when my importance is not stronger than your own. My life is not worth yours and I will not argue with you further on this." Obi-Wan's mouth clicked shut as Qui-Gon halted his response.

"You're saying I should have let you die?"

"Yes, padawan. As with all things, everything has its time. I've made my mistakes and the Force was ready to take me. My wounds were too grievous. I've taught you much over the years but one thing you have yet to grasp."

"Healing with the force." Obi-Wan sighed.

"No, you are learning and with time you will get it. You need to learn to let people go. People who mean much to you. Though I am grateful and you lucked out this time, there is no certainty of this working again, whatever this was. If this happens again, promise you will not risk your own life. You let me go, Obi-Wan."

Despite his exhausted and still healing state, Obi-Wan jumepd up from the chair, heated eyes locked on Qui-Gon's. " Let you die, just like that?!"

"Yes, Obi-Wan. You know the code to heart. There is no death. There is only the Force."

Obi-Wan stiffened his posture, looking away as if thinking about it. He turned away and walked to the door. Confused, Qui-Gon watched him open the door before he froze in the doorway. He turned his head to look at Qui-Gon and spoke with such earnesty it stumped Qui-Gon.

"The Force is not enough."

 _fin_


End file.
